I May Never Tell
by wincest4eva
Summary: Just before Sam had gone to Collage, Dean found iregular feelings toward his younger brother, but kept it inside. Now, after there father died, will things happen between them? And will Dean ever know Sam feels just the same? PLease R
1. Things I'll Never Say

**Things I'll Never Say**

**Dean was sitting there in the old worn-out motel room they had gotten after a little hunt. Sam was asleep, and all he could so was smile. He looked so peaceful, his chest rising and lowering with every breath he took. He brother looked like a sleeping angel, though Dean knew he would never tell Sam that. It was a little before Sam had gone to Collage, that he developed some unnatural feeling for him. His small, very skinny and bony brother was now his well-toned, shaggy black haired, 6'5, very gorgeous brother. He knew the feelings were wrong, pure and utterly wrong, but to him, it felt good. He got up, and went for a walk. Not a long one, just one around the motel building. He had taken the mini radio Sam had gotten from one of the hunts. He turned it on, and grunted when all it had was the music he hated, but he listened to it, since he had nothing better to do while he was walking. There were some rap songs, and some other songs he despised. He took another lap around the building, since a Metallica song had come on, He wasn't even done the lap, so he just continued. A song came on, that he, for some unknown reason, related to. It wasn't his old rock type, it was some chick singing, and it scared him. He listened to it, and couldn't believe that it really did say pretty much everything that he was keeping from Sam. His very unnatural love.**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_**I'm tugging at my hair  
I'm pulling at my clothes  
I'm trying to keep my cool  
I know it shows  
I'm staring at my feet  
My cheeks are turning red  
I'm searching for the words inside my head  
coz I'm feeling nervous  
Trying to be so perfect  
coz I know you're worth it...you're worth it...yeah**_

chorus  
If I could say what I want to say  
Id say I want to blow you away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight?  
If I could say what I want to see  
I want to see you go down on one knee...  
Marry me today!  
Guess I'm wishing my life away...  
With these things Ill never say

verse 2  
It don't do me any good  
Its just a waste of time  
What use is it to you, what's on my mind?  
If it aint comin out  
Were not goin anywhere  
So why cant I just tell you that I care?  
coz I'm feeling nervous  
Trying to be so perfect  
coz I know you're worth it...you're worth it...yeah

chorus  
If I could say what I want to say  
Id say I want to blow you away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight?  
If I could say what I want to see  
I want to see you go down on one knee  
Marry me today!  
Guess I'm wishing my life away...  
With these things Ill never say

bridge  
What's wrong?  
With my song?  
These words keep slippin away...  
I stutter...I stumble  
Like I've got nothin to sa-ay...  
coz I'm feelin nervous  
Tryin to be so perfect  
coz I know you're worth it...you're worth it...yeah

Da da da da da da da da da...  
Da da da da da da da da da...

Guess I'm wishing my life away  
With these things Ill never say  
If I could say what I want to say  
Id say I want to blow you away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight?  
If I could say what I want to see  
I want to see you go down on one knee  
Marry me today  
Guess I'm wishing my life away  
With these things Ill never say

With these things Ill never sa-ay

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Yea, this song was practically made for him. With his very good memory, he remembered the whole song, and it was stuck in his head. He sang it over and over again in his mind. He went to sleep later on that night, happy as ever. **

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**A/N: Well there ya have it! I know the chapter is short, BUT I will make the others longer, I couldn't think of anything else to put. Next chapter will be in Sam's POV! Hope you enjoyed!  **


	2. Singing In The Shower

**Singing in the shower **

**Sam's POV:**

**I woke up, and I heard the water running. Dean, as always, was first to wake, and he would end up waking me up while he sings in the shower. Typical, he's singing a ACDC song. What am I suppose to do…we are taking the day off…so I cant look for jobs. Damn it! What the...my mini radio…well I just found what I can do. I just listen to some songs on here until Dean gets out. UGH! The battery is dead! Fuck! Well I guess dean is going to be my entertainment…GREAT! More and more ACDC or whatever he listens to. **

"**I'm tugging at my hair, I'm pulling at my clothes, I'm trying to keep my cool, I know it shows, I'm staring at my feet, My cheeks are turning red, I'm searching for the words inside my head, coz I'm feeling nervous, Trying to be so perfect, coz I know you're worth it...you're worth it...yeah"**

**Did I hear right? What is Dean singing?! Ok I am now like really scared….Oh shit! He's coming out! What to him? Ask him? Or pretend it never happened….I'll ask. Is the door locked…it is…SHIT! Well now it isn't…if he tries to kill me I will so run.**

"**Morning Dean…can I ask you something?"**

"**Yea Sam, what is it?"**

"**Well….I uh kinda heard you singing in the shower, and the last song wasn't one I've ever heard, and it's a LOVE song! Please don't kill me…."**

"**You what….You heard me singing? So what? It was just a stupid song that got stuck in my head, and now it's gone. Yup, gone, cant even remember what it was."**

**He tossed me his cocky grin. I love it when he smiles like that. WHAT?! I didn't NOT just think that…….what the fuck is wrong with me?! Wow, I never noticed how well built he is…AHH! Must get THOUGHS thoughts outta my head.**

"**Sammy, why are you staring at me like that?" **

**Oh great, how great, make my self look like a complete dork in front of him! Wait, why the HELL do I care?**

"**Sorry, just thinking."**

**Ok, what to do…draw. That sounds like…a boring thing to pass the time. Well what else am I going to do? Were is my pencil…..that's a pen…Ah, here we go. What to draw….A heart. WHY THE FUCK DO I WANT TO DRAW A HEART?! Ugh, I must be losing my mind. Oh my god, colour that heart in before Dean sees that I drew a damn HEART with HIS name in it! Wow, 1 minute has passed….AND ANOTHER HEART! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?! Ok, drawing is now never going to be done again.**

"**Sam, what are you doing?"**

"**Nothing, bored that's all."**

"**Then why are you drawing hearts? I see you have drawn 2 of them."**

**I looked over to him and shrugged.**

"**Well I don't have an answer to that...I guess I just drew em for no apparent reason."**

**Dean laughed. Oh how I love his laugh. NO I DON'T! A nap. I need a nap.**

"**I'm going to have a nap."**

"**What? At 10 in the morning?"**

"**I'm still tired, your singing woke me up."**

"**Well then go to sleep, sleeping beauty." **

**Dean was laughing so hard I hit him.**

"**Hey! No hard feelings! You have to get your sleep." He smirked, and sat down on the bed.**

"**Don't let the bed bugs bite!"**

"**Shut up Dean"**

**I laughed and slipped under the covers.**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_**Dean was sitting on his bed, lost in thought.**_

"_**What are you thinking about Dean?"**_

_**He didn't answer me.**_

"_**Dean…..Dean….DEAN!"**_

"_**Huh…what...uh...what?" **_

_**I laughed at him.**_

"_**What are you thinking about?"**_

"_**You."**_

_**He had a look of horror on his face.**_

"_**What? Me? Why?"**_

"_**Nothing…just nothing Sammy."**_

"_**Well it seems to me like more then nothing."**_

_**He walked to the bathroom.**_

"_**I'm taking a shower."**_

_**I nodded and it seemed as soon as he walked in, he came out all wet.**_

"_**Sam!"**_

"_**What?!"**_

"_**I've said your name 15 times….what the hell were YOU thinking about?"**_

"_**How hot you look wet."**_

_**I turned white. Pure white, in fear. He looked at me, a little weird. Like he was crazy, or as if he was looking at something really fucked up. But that was right, he's looking at me. HOW FUCKING STUPID CAN I GET!**_

"_**W…..wha….what did you just say?"**_

"_**N….nothing. I said nothing."**_

"_**Like fuck that was nothing! YOU JUST SAID I LOOKED HOT WET! THAT DON'T COUNT AS NOTHING!"**_

_**I just sat there. Shocked and helpless. What was I to say? That I secretly love him more then I should? Am I suppose to just come out and say 'Well Dean, I love you more then a brother, in fact, I sometimes just want to do things that aren't right.' and not have him leave or kick my ass then leave? No, I have to just forget letting him know that I love him that much. Some times I scare myself with the thoughts.**_

"_**Well I said nothing of importance. Just forget it."**_

"_**Sammy, tell me RIGHT now what you just said!"**_

"_**No, it's not important!"**_

"_**Well I want to know if I heard was right. Did you just say I look hot wet? Or did I hear wrong?"**_

_**Uh-oh……**_

"_**You know what? I DID say that. I DO think that you look hot wet, AND I kinda think about MORE then that! I FUCKING LOVE YOU!"**_

_**He didn't say a word. Now I think I scared Dean.**_

"_**If your gonna kick my ass, do it now. If your gonna leave, I understand. I understand if you hate my fucking guts for the rest of my life…."**_

"_**S….sssamm……."**_

_**Dean looked like he had just heard that his dog died or something.**_

"_**What Dean?"**_

"_**I…I….oh god Sammy!"**_

_**He ran up to me, and grabbed me! He grabbed me…what the?**_

"_**Dean wh…"**_

_**I was cut off my his lips.**_

"_**God how I wanted to hear you say that."**_

_**Dean kissed me again after saying that. We were making out, him wet, towel falling off and I'm in my PJ's.**_

"_**What?"**_

"_**I said I always wanted you to say that."**_

"_**And to think that you would hate me…you feel the same?"**_

"_**No shit!"**_

"_**Hahaha, now, were we're we?"**_

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**I woke up with a jolt. Dean was looking at me funny.**

"**What?"**

"**You were talking on your sleep…."**

"**WHAT?!"**

"**You were talking in your sleep. What the fuck were you dreaming about? Sounded pretty fucked up." **

"**Nothing, I have to use the bathroom."**

**I jolted up and took a very cold shower. Why did I have to talk in my sleep?**

**Things aren't going to be the same.**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**A/N: Well there it is! TADA! Heehee, hoped you liked it! Took me a little while. THIS IS MY FIRST WINCEST SO GO EASY ON ME!!! Well it's my first story period! **


	3. No Clean Clothing!

**No Clean Clothing!**

**Sam stood there with the ice cold water pouring on him. After a little while he changed it to nice warm water. All he wanted was for this all to just go away. He really didn't want Dean to hate him, it wasn't his fault he felt this way. He tries so hard to fight it, but it always wins with more thoughts that turn him on and disgust him at the same time. Right now, all he could do was fight with the little voice inside of him. The little voice who makes him feel this way.**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_**Why do you lie to yourself Sam? You know that you love him, you love him more then life itself but you choose to fight it. Just give up….you know that your brain cant win a pure love battle with your heart, it just aint happening.**_

'**Oh shut up! I'm tired of this! I DON'T NOT LOVE HIM!'**

_**Yea you do, very much so**_

'**OH PISS OFF!' **

_**Stop fighting it Sam, you know your not going to win.**_

'**What the fuck ever. I give up now'**

_**Thank you.**_

'**Fuck you'**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**He was tired of fighting with himself. It was no use. He loved Dean more then life itself and there was no way he could change that. Unknowingly Sam started to sing a song. He didn't even know that he had started…..**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

_**Desperate for changing,  
Starving for truth,  
Closer to where I started,   
Chasing after you.**_

I'm falling even more in love with you,  
Letting go of all I've held onto,  
I'm standing here until you make me move,  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

Forgetting all I'm lacking,  
Completely incomplete,  
I'll take your invitation,  
You take all of me now.

I'm falling even more in love with you,  
Letting go of all I've held onto,  
I'm standing here until you make me move,  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you.

I'm living for the only thing I know,  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go,  
And I don't know what I'm diving into,  
Just hanging by a moment here with you.

There's nothing else to lose,  
There's nothing else to find,  
There's nothing in the world,  
That could change my mind,  
There is nothing else,  
There is nothing else,  
There is nothing else.

Desperate for changing,  
Starving for truth,  
Closer to where I started,  
Chasing after you.

I'm falling even more in love with you  
Letting go of all I've held onto  
I'm standing here until you make me move  
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm living for the only thing I know  
I'm running and not quite sure where to go  
And I don't know what I'm diving into  
Just hanging by a moment here with you  
Just hanging by a moment  
Hanging by a moment  
Hanging by a moment  
Hanging by a moment here with you

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Dean was staring at the bathroom door wondering why Sam was singing in the shower for one, he only does that when he's got a billon things going on in his head. And he was wondering what he dreamt about. He heard his name, and what Sam was saying, not to mention that he had a hard-on when he woke up. Nah, Sam could never have those feelings toward him. No, never. Just then Sam came out in just a towel, dripping wet. Dean sat on the bed crossed legged because he was getting a hard-on, and he didn't need Sam to see it. Sam looked at Dean a little funny, then went to his bag. **

"**Shit, Dean you got a clean shirt I can wear?"**

"**No sorry Sam."**

"**Ugh! Well I guess I'll have to go topless…HOLY SHIT!"**

"**What?"**

"**I have no pants. And I'm NOT wearing dirty ones, I'm tired of smelling."**

"**Well then what the fuck are you going to wear?"**

"**I guess the towel will do until I get some clean clothing."**

"**Well that sounds like a great idea….what don't you just walk around naked then?" Dean said it so sarcastically, but really wouldn't mind it.**

"**Hmm, sound like a pl.."**

"**I was joking!"**

"**Hahaha I know that Dean, man, you should have seen the look on your face!"**

"**Shut up _Sammy_!"**

"**It's Sam!"**

"**What ever."**

**Sam walked to his bed, looking in Deans bag.**

"**What the hell are you doing?"**

"**Looking for pants, this towel is drenched."**

"**Well I don't have clean ones."**

"**Oh for fuck sakes! This day is turning out to be a 'Great' Day."**

"**How?"**

"**I was being sarcastic…"**

"**I know that." **

"**Yea…."**

**Dean really was scared. He had a hard on, and Sam was going to be walking around in a TOWEL! Man, things couldn't get any worse. Sam looked fine with it, but Dean would like to walk around freely instead of sitting trying to hid his 'little buddy' from Sam. While Dean was thinking of how hot Sam looked in a towel all wet, Sam was looking on the laptop. He was reading some news from the town, but decided to end because he might find a hunt, and this was there day off. Drawing was SOO out of the question, since last time he almost got caught drawing hearts with DEANS name in them! **

"**Dean I'm bored as hell, what do you want to do?"**

"**I have a few things in mind…"**

"**What are they?"**

"**What? Did I say that out loud? Never mind…"**

"**Huh? What Dean?"**

"**Nothing."**

"**I'm so sure Dean…."**

"**Well as long as you don't ask, I wont have to kill you."**

"**Is it that bad?!"**

"**What? SHUT UP!"**

"**What ever dude."**

"**Well what do YOU want to do Collage boy?"**

**Sam thought hard, and spoke a little slow so he didn't end up saying something completely wrong, like making out or something.**

"**I don't know."**

**Dean and Sam sat there, thinking and then, Sam got an idea.**

"**Why not truth or dare?"**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**A/N: MUHAHA! What will happen? Will they play? Who knows……well that's it for now. Next chapy will be up soon! **


	4. Truth Or Dare

**Truth Or Dare**

**Dean started laughing, the thing Sam would expect from his older brother. **

"**Dude, you want to play Truth or Dare? THAT'S FOR SLEEPOVERS! Hahahaha!!!! Not to mention little GIRLS! AHAHAHAHA!!!"**

**Sam just looked at him.**

"**Well they play it with little gay things, but I could dare to something…more…mature. Like hitting on a fat guy, and try to get laid by it."**

"**Man, whatever you say, I have some things for you Sammy, your in a TOWEL!!"**

"**Haha, very funny."**

**They sat there and got comfy on the opposite beds. Dean and him sat crossed legged, but Dean could see a bit of 'little Sam' and it's two 'buddies'. He shook his head and told himself NEVER to look again….though….NO! He wont.**

"**You going first? Or am I?" Sam asked.**

"**You, have fun"**

**Sam had a smirk on his face. **

"**Tell me one thing, would you ever back down from a dare? ANY dare at all?"**

"**Well no, now go on with it! I wouldn't back don form ANYTHING because I'm not a sissy like some one I know…."**

"**Shut up Dean. Ok then….Hmmm"**

**Sam got an idea. 'Maybe, just because I want to kiss him so bad….I'll dare him to French kiss me, and see if he's the non-sissy he claims to be.'**

"**Well, since you think that your all tough and can do any dare, I dare you to French kiss me, your brother. Ha! Lets see you be a non-sissy now!"**

**Dean looked shocked. But then had a evil grin/look on his face.**

"**Think again Collage boy, you just dared the wrong person."**

**Dean jumped off his bed so fast, and had Sam pinned on the bed.**

"**Dean…are you serio…" He was cut off. **

**Sam's open mouth made it easy to start the French kissing. Dean was happy, and the same with Sam. Sam moaned as Dean sucked on his toung and searched every place in Sam's mouth. Sam did the same, and the truth or dare game flew out the window as they were in a major make-out session. Sam's towel fell off, and he was naked, with a very horny Dean on top of him. Sam felt something poke his stomach and he grinded with it. Yup, it was little Dean saying hello. And the same with little Sam. Dean felt a very happy as Sam slid his hand down his pants. Soon enough both were naked and burning with desire. Sam felt hot to the touch. Sam felt warmer as the heat from Deans body drifted onto him. Dean soon realized what was going down.**

"**S…Sam…m…my god Sam…Ohh, wai….wait….I…I…Oh god….Have….t…to…..Say…..Ahh….t…that….Sam do you really want this?"**

**Sam looked into his eye's, love and desire filled them.**

"**Hell yea….So long now…..Dean….."**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**A/M: MUHAHAHA!!!! Short, I know, but SUPER fun to write! I don't know if I could write a sex scene, BUT maybe with a little help from da button just a mere click away, could bring a REALLY hot sex scene, BUT that's all up to you, the more reviews, the more hotter and better it will be!!!!! Your choice. Next chapy will be written soon as I get at least 3 reviews……yea! BUT 5 will bring you sex scene! Haha! Or….if I feel like it, I might just write one! WHO KNOWS? Hope you enjoyed! **


	5. READ PLEASE!

**Hey, you guys I'm SOO sorry, but I kinda can't post the 5th chapter...I know I know! you can toss crap in bags at me off you want. (Dodges a bag of shit) Anyways, I'm at a library...My comp crashed, and I wasn't finished the chapy, it was a long one to! But, my comp crashed, and I cant get a new one in a while. I had other oneshots and stuff that i sent to my beloved karlie to edit, and she agreed to post them while I have no computer (Tear), and I would write a chapter, BUT I can't write THAT kind of a chapter on a public comp. Only reason i get to write this is because im (wink) doing homework (wink) So yea. I will write another chapy ASAP...well more like when I get a new comp. Hope you enjoy the oneshots Karlie posts for meh!**

**Love,**

**Wincest4eva **


	6. NOTICE!

**I WONT BE CONTINUING WITH THIS STORY! LOST INTEREST!**

**A NEW ONW WILL BE POSTED, BETTER AND SOMEWHAT LIKE THIS, AND YES IT WILL HAVE A SEX SCENE!**

**THANKS!**

**-AMANDA **


End file.
